9/14/2024
Has anyone ever had a moment where at first they were peacefully relaxing but then the uncalled thought of how us humans can't live forever surfaces in their minds? That there will always be some point in time a moment where they will die?
Thanatophobia is simply a fear of either death itself or the many processes of dying. This fear can come in a variety of forms, whether people are afraid of killing someone or being killed, or how human life always has a moment where it must end. Every living creature on Earth shares a basic biological predisposition towards self-preservation under the interests of survival and reproduction, leading to many people, including myself, and that of Ernest Becker with his book The Denial of Death, believing that this fear is innate within human nature, whether we're conscious of it or not, and that's why I believe this to be the final boss of phobias. Sure, there is Pantophobia, but I don't think it's a phobia that applies to that sort of human inheritance. Nonetheless, these thoughts have sort of made me think about finding entertainment that deals with not just this fear as a whole, but the the fear of anticipating one's own death. Surprisingly, despite how easy it seemed, it actually was quite hard. I've gotten close with things such as the movie Talk To Me, but I didn't think it elaborated much on that intense dread people get from that fear. (Still a good movie tho.) However, I finally stumbled upon that right kind of entertainment in the unexpected form of a flash game on Newgrounds.
The game is called Orange Roulette, and is one of those Russian roulette games that were popular on that site. (And still kind of have been.) You play as an anthrophomorphic orange, who I'll name P-Orange, who has been trapped in a desolate prison cell for a long while, until he was given the opportunity by the people in charge to be set free through competing in a deadly game of Russian Roulette against other inmates. Throughout the game, P-Orange exhibits feelings of anxiety and terror through detailed facial expressions and the twitching of his body, and so too do the first two contestants he competes against, with the second one outright tearing up. Even after P-Orange wins and witnesses their deaths, he's filled with a sense of guilt. The disorienting music also further amplifies these emotions within the player. The the third contestant comes and things start to feel a little more odd. Sure, he's just as anxious as the previous two, but when he chooses to shoot P-Orange, his face changes into that of a ruthless grin. The fourth one looks as if he's completely lost his sanity, anticipating for what's to horrifyingly come in the next final two rounds. The more rounds P-Orange wins, the more his state of mind starts to plummet into a downward spiral, and that all culminates in the fifth and sixth rounds. He (implyingly) hallucinates the fifth contestant having nothing on his face but one large realistic eye who's stare pierces his soul, and the sixth one with gaping holes in his eyes and mouth, looking like the Gyroid Face from Animal Crossing. After P-Orange wins and is freed from the prison, he doesn't feel any more better about it, rather his trauma stays with him, even after he's shipped to be sold at the grocery store.
When you're trapped within a desperate life or death situation like this, it makes sense to utterly lose your mind and trip out like this because of how much anxiety and fear it can't handle. Ernest Becker states how the fear runs so deep and prominent within us humans that it in turn also became in our nature to find a way to fend off the awareness of our own mortality and vulnerability as well as the profound anxiety that comes with it. Sadly, because of P-Orange's situation, his attempts at such are very limited and almost fruitless. (Pun semi-intended!) He could've stayed in that prison and suffered more, perhaps even succumb to its perilous conditions. Either path he could've taken would just about always lead to a situation where he would highly likely meet face to face with the grim reaper.
